“The King’s Jester” is a satire column that Roar runs in collaboration with the KCL Comedy Club. If you’re interested in writing an article for this column, email your submission to [email protected] or send it to @kclcomedyclub on Instagram.
Sorrow struck the Strand on Tuesday evening when an unknown assailant fired two shots at KCL mascot Reggie the Lion outside of the Bush House campus.
Reggie, who had served with distinction as our mascot since December 1923, was gunned down in broad daylight by a man who eyewitness reports describe as looking shockingly like a dentist. If true, this would represent a return to the dark days of 2015, when Dentist-on-Lion crime incidents reached an all-time high following the murder of Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe.
Reggie has long inspired students at KCL since rising to his esteemed position near-on a century ago, replacing unpopular mascot ‘Bottled Youth’, a five to six-foot tall beer bottle. Reggie has been at the forefront of sporting events, graduation ceremonies and significant political events for a century. In 1945, Reggie was photographed alongside the British Royal Family and Sir Winston Churchill following the declaration of victory in Europe, and he spoke against nuclear proliferation at the UN General Assembly in the aftermath of the Cuban Missile Crisis, becoming a driving contributor to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons in 1968, as well as other landmark pieces of international legislation.
The Metropolitan Police have appealed for information regarding the murder, and a manhunt is presently underway. Reggie is survived by two-dozen cubs, and a legacy of diplomatic and personal achievements.
