Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

The King's Jester

The King’s Jester: King’s Student Remains Marxist Despite Middle Class Upbringing

The King’s Jester is Roar News’s satire column. All people, events, and quotes featured are entirely fictitious and intended for humorous purposes only.

Maxwell Talbot Harrington Heroically Bites The Hand That Feeds Him A Six-Figure Allowance

Concern was widespread across the Strand campus this week after first-year War Studies student Maxwell Talbot-Harrington, best known for describing capitalism as “morally indefensible,” was discovered to have an investment banker and a corporate lawyer for parents.

Upon meeting him for an interview at his Covent Garden flat, he told us it was while skiing in Val-d’Isère that he first began reading Marx – while drinking a bottle of 2002 Dom Perignon.

He later described the experience as “the point at which I began to understand capital as a lived contradiction.”

As we were packing up, Talbot-Harrington put “Eat the Rich” as the caption on his latest protest Instagram story, posted from his £1,350 MacBook before checking whether his rent from his parents had cleared.

At a recent King’s sports night, Talbot-Harrington declined to participate, describing such events as “competitive hierarchies reproduced through informal leisure structures.”

He was later seen observing from the sidelines, before leaving early due to what he termed “the commodification of social bonding under late capitalism.”

As of publication, Talbot-Harrington was reportedly considering a summer internship at a management consultancy where his uncle works, describing the role on LinkedIn as “a necessary temporary engagement with systems of capital in order to better understand their internal contradictions” before later clarifying to friends that he was “simply encouraging capitalists to sell the rope with which they will eventually hang themselves.”

He also claimed that he joined LinkedIn only to “identify the owners of the commanding heights and rightfully condemn them where necessary.”

Students familiar with the situation confirmed that Talbot-Harrington “is far from an isolated case,” with similar cases reported across Waterloo and Guy’s.

The university advised students to “engage critically with all ideological frameworks,” particularly during seminar discussions.

The university also made clear that it was “important for all points of view to be considered, from the Strand student protester to the Cranfield academic arms manufacturer.”

Stay safe out there.

About the author

Related

Photo of the outside of Bush House, courtesy of Culture Editor Thomas Deakin

Art

Staff Writer Raza Mirza writes about the recent poster sale at The Shack.

News

Controversial right-wing debate group Turning Pont UK was chanted over by protestors on Thursday

Sport

Staff Writer Jamal Malik-Lyf comments on the upcoming Ballon d’Or award announcement. The Ballon d’Or is one of the most iconic awards in the...

KCL American Politics Society hosts voter drive on Strand Campus. KCL American Politics Society hosts voter drive on Strand Campus.

KCLSU & Societies

The initiative aims to help American students at King’s vote from abroad.

Sport

Staff Writer Jamal Malik-Lyf writes on Man City’s charges. On the 25th of September 2026, Manchester City were officially found guilty of 114 out of...

Art

Staff Writer Raza Mirza writes about the recent poster sale at The Shack.

Science & Innovation

Staff Writer Sara Naz Anjum explores the achievements made by King’s College London (KCL) Professor of Experimental Physics Anatoly Zayats. Professor Zayats has been...

Science & Innovation

Staff writer Alia Elanani discusses the early flu season taking over the UK this year and the reasons students should get vaccinated. According to...

Science & Innovation

Head of Science Anoushka Sinha discusses new research from King’s College London into the negative impacts of AI chatbots on users’ mental health. 900...