Creative Corner: To My Evolved Self

To My Evolved Self
By May Zaben

To my evolved self, 
When there’s no longer messy tears and enunciated crown jewels,
When my mind hasn’t left the window and my heart is still intact
When my place in society didn’t bend down and crash
When the fruits of the upcoming world is full of colour once more,
Tell me to feel happy
Tell me to smile in my sleep
Tell me the tunnel vision is over,
Tell me I’m not in too deep.

Tell me the rainbow has reappeared and the pressure’s all gone
Tell me I’m sorry for all the bad that I’ve caused you
And all the troubles that took you apart.

Tell me it’s fine that I’m like this 
And when words are not enough,
Tell me it’s okay to cave in when the damage has been done.
Tell me to sleep my silence out,
To win my troubled cries
Tell me you’re done living in silence when I am done living mine.
That’s when you’ll vanquish, I believe
Into emerald stone.
And your true self will show.
When the deeds have been done and the measure has been sung.

Tell me it’s not over when I still think I have anticipation and fortuity.
Tell me I’m doing great,
Can you give me a second chance?
While all my work in the world has yet to be celebrated,
All my wrongs and forgivable wrongdoings need to be buried
Where I can’t seem them anymore.

I need you to hold them back for me,
To keep the pain inside where it’s locked up and you’re finally
Amplified.
I want you to sing a sweet song in all that you have succeeded in and let me know,
That in my dreams,
I wasn’t the only annual glow
That in my dreams, reality was the better fantasy that lived up to my expectations.
In my dreams, I am evolved. 
I want you to be evolved, too.

Seek that unparalleled force and bring it back to me
In a few years,
I’d like to smile with plain audacity.
I’d like to be eased and forever relinquished.
  
It’s not simple to forget all that has become,
But it is easy to go through all that is forthcoming.

While my spirit still seeks the wisdom to my missing puzzle, 
I want my evolved self to continue the task
So when you return in a few whatever time’s time
And show this to me,
I will be happy…
I’d been set free!