Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Culture

Maughan Hub: Sino-Indian Relations At New Low After Modi-Xi Birthday Disaster

Maughan Hub: Thanks to KCL, Four More Strains of Covid-19 Exist

Maughan Hub is a series of articles written by KCL’s Comedy Society members, published on Wednesdays. We hope they entertain you wherever you are!

In a devastating foreign policy move, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi refused to wish Chinese Premier Xi Jinping a happy birthday. This was retaliation for the ongoing Sino-Indian border clashes in Ladakh, which have already claimed dozens of lives on both sides. 

Maughan Hub reached out to renowned King’s Professor J. Oke to get his view on the situation. Oke opined that, “this is a devastating non-kinetic psychological pressure tactic. The Chinese ego may never recover; their reputation as ‘the Middle Kingdom’ amongst the surrounding countries is in tatters. After all, if you can’t even get someone to wish you happy birthday, how can you ever expect broader loyalty?” 

Other academics, notably Harriet Umour, contested Professor Oke’s analysis, suggesting it was historically essentialist to imply that China needed any validation, and that birthdays are meaningless after a certain age anyway. At press time, both academics were encamped on opposite sides of the staff common room throwing pastries at each other. More as we have it. 

The official line from Zhongnanhai is that this is “no big deal, honestly, like, who cares? I don’t care.” As one spokesperson put it; “While we obviously regret this unfortunate lapse by Prime Minister Modi, our relationship with India could not be stronger.” 

Internally, the situation is quite different. Our sources close to Xi report that he is “beside himself” and “heartbroken”. Not even burning his image into more Indian cities could make him feel better. One senior functionary was ordered to bin a consignment of party hats and other paraphernalia – Xi simply wasn’t in the mood to celebrate this year. A non-binding resolution was passed by the Central Party Congress emphasising that Xi is beloved by all the citizens of the world, and that Modi is just, like, totally mean. But it seems to have been little comfort to the distraught premier. 

Options for retaliation have been presented to Xi. These include unfollowing Modi on Instagram, dramatically increasing troop presence in Ladakh, and spilling the tea on Facebook. The current status of the Chinese response is unknown at this time, but Maughan Hub will continue to monitor this evolving crisis. 

/home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/html-layout.php on line 17
" data-author-type="
Warning: Undefined array key "type" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/html-layout.php on line 18
" data-author-archived="
Warning: Undefined array key "archived" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/html-layout.php on line 19
">
/home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/html-layout.php on line 39

Warning: Undefined array key "id" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/html-layout.php on line 39
-"
Warning: Undefined array key "archive" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/html-layout.php on line 40
itemscope itemid="" itemtype="https://schema.org/Person" >

Warning: Undefined array key "img" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-avatar.php on line 4

Warning: Undefined array key "show_social_web" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-socialmedia.php on line 6

Warning: Undefined array key "show_social_mail" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-socialmedia.php on line 7

Warning: Undefined array key "show_social_phone" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-socialmedia.php on line 8

Warning: Undefined array key "type" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-name.php on line 17

Warning: Undefined array key "type" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-name.php on line 19

Warning: Undefined array key "type" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-name.php on line 21

Warning: Undefined array key "archive" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-name.php on line 37

Warning: Undefined array key "name" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-name.php on line 41

Warning: Undefined array key "job" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-meta.php on line 10

Warning: Undefined array key "job" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-meta.php on line 15

Warning: Undefined array key "company" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-meta.php on line 17

Warning: Undefined array key "phone" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-meta.php on line 26

Warning: Undefined array key "mail" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-meta.php on line 36

Warning: Undefined array key "web" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-meta.php on line 46

Warning: Undefined array key "bio" in /home/roarnews/public_html/wp-content/plugins/molongui-authorship/views/author-box/parts/html-bio.php on line 8

Latest

Events

Editor-in-Chief Nia Simeonova presents KCL St John Ambulance Society, a nominee at the King’s College London Students’ Union (KCLSU) Awards 2024. With the awards set...

Events

Science Editor Jana Bazeed presents KCL Robotics, a nominee at the King’s College Students’ Union (KCLSU) Awards 2024. With the awards set for 28...

Comment

Staff writer Samira Siakantari, an exchange student at UCLA, recounts her experience of the police crackdown on the UCLA Pro-Palestinian encampment, arguing student protestors...

Interior of a Westminster pub. Interior of a Westminster pub.

Culture

Staff Writer Leah Napier-Raikes explains the success of ‘Baby Reindeer’, a gripping narrative about stalking and abuse. Since its debut on April 11th, ‘Baby...

a female a cappella group on stage a female a cappella group on stage

Culture

Editor-in-Chief Nia Simeonova presents The Rolling Tones, a nominee at the King’s College London Students’ Union (KCLSU) Awards 2024. With the awards set for...

Comment

Staff writer Ruth Otim reminds us of the conflict in Sudan, and the importance of the media in paying attention to international conflicts. I...

Comment

Comment Editor Matteo Cardarelli on China’s recent struggles, asking whether there may be something profound and ineradicable underlying them. In August, Adam Posen, President...

Comment

Staff writer Amarjot Ghatore delves beneath the surface of India’s recent G20 summit glitz and glamour, exposing the reality of the domestic situation of...

News

KCL has dropped its commitment to achieving net zero carbon emissions by 2025, pushing the goal back to 2030 amid revelations that emissions have...