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Maughan Hub: Chicken Cottage Camberwell Awarded Third Michelin Star

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Maughan Hub is a series of articles written by KCL’s Comedy Society members, published on Wednesdays. We hope they entertain you wherever you are!

The latest issue of the Michelin Guide has been published today in what can only be described as a triumphant day for the city of London. A total of eleven London restaurants were awarded new Michelin stars, with three being awarded an impressive two Michelin star rating. To the surprise of many, culinary underdog Chicken Cottage Camberwell has been awarded the esteemed three Michelin stars rating. To discuss the award, Maughan Hub’s high culture correspondent arranged an exclusive interview with Chicken Cottage Camberwell’s executive chef and front of house manager, Anwar Chokur.

Maughan Hub: Mr. Chokur, thank you for agreeing to this interview and congratulations on the prestigious award. How did it feel when you first learned about being awarded three Michelin stars?

Anwar Chokur: So my boy Kalim hit me up and said the Cottage got put in some book, yeah? The Michelin book and we got three stars. Not bad. We got 4.1 stars on Google though so we are better than that. I don’t get why Michelin’s flaming us or whatever.

MH: How has the restaurant changed since the announcement of your award?

AC: It’s been mad, not gonna lie. These bare posh people been coming up and ordering wings and that, eating them with knives and forks.

MH: To anyone reading this who might be interested in visiting the restaurant, what style of cuisine can one expect to enjoy at Chicken Cottage Camberwell?

AC: Well it’s chicken, burgers, chips, wings on sale actually, uhh drinks.

MH: Well I must say that’s fascinating. A complete departure from the perhaps overly pervasive contemporary French cuisine. Would you say the menu is experimental, avant garde even?

AC: Uhh, yeah innit though.

MH: Of course this award places you among the very finest dining establishments in London. When you think of the other restaurants of your prestige, the Alain Ducasse, Restaurant Gordon Ramsay for example, do you see these as competition?

AC: I don’t know about all that man, but you seen the new Morley’s opened up by the bus stop? I ain’t looking for beef yeah but bossman better stay clear, just saying.

MH: Oh gosh, that sounds like strong competition.

AC: Yeah, I even saw Mrs. P go there for ribs and she was always bare loyal to the Cottage.

MH: Is that Mrs. P, the critic from The Sunday Times?

AC: Huh? No, Mrs. P who sells fruit and vapes down the road.

MH: Moving on then. What I think has inspired a lot of Michelin enthusiasts about your personal story is the dedicated role you play in both the front of house and back of house, something unheard of in most dining establishments. What has inspired this level of commitment?

AC: Uh, yeah well I’m always at the front doing the selling and that. Sanjay, my nephew, comes and helps with the chicken after school sometimes but since he got that new Fifa he usually forgets. Bit of a dickhead really.

MH: Just to conclude then, is there any advice you would give to hopeful restaurateurs striving for their first Michelin star?

AC: Advice? Aight get this the next time a mouse jumps in the deep fryer, right? Wait a couple minutes so it gets all crispy and then removing it’s well easy. Buck up to Sanjay for that one. Quality.

Since the time of the interview, Chicken Cottage Camberwell has announced plans to introduce a seven-course seasonal taster menu consisting of: wings, chicken, chips, burger, chicken again, burger sauce, and foie gras. The menu will operate at a fixed price of £79.99 per person and will be available on Uber Eats.

Jacob Knyspel

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