Dale! Fresher Totally Prepared for His Spanish Module After Listening to Pitbull all Summer

Maughan Hub is a series of articles written by KCL’s Comedy Society members, published on Wednesdays. We hope they entertain you wherever you are!

Move over, native speakers: Adam Thurston (20) is ready to charm all the senoritas and, more importantly, the profesora, in an introductory module, 4AASHS01 Spanish Language I, with all the Spanish he picked up from Mr 305 himself.

Mondays through Fridays at 9 a.m. Thurston strolls down Strand, or as he calls it, “KCL’s very own Calle Ocho,” toward Williams Hall. After climbing the stairs up to Floor “Dos,” Thurston greets his classmates with a jubilant “Dale!” before settling into his seat.

Not all of his classmates are impressed, though. Several students have complained that “Tu tiene la boca grande” is NOT an appropriate way to respond to the question “How was your summer?” and his professor is equally disquieted by his random outbursts of “Baila!” or even just “wooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

Determined not to waste his talents, Thurston is trying to take the module 5SSG2052: Environment, Society & Geography, where he’ll apply the lessons he learned in Pitbull’s environmentally conscious albums, Global Warming and Climate Change. King’s admin is less than obliging, but Thurston is undeterred. When asked to comment, he lifts his shirt to reveal a tattoo of the lyrics to Timber, and points to the phrase “I’m slicker than an oil spill / she says she won’t, but I bet she will.”

“I’m currently in talks with my advisor to try to get an IR minor based on the knowledge I gained from Pitbull’s 8th studio album, Globalization,” says Thurston, before thrusting his hips in a way that immediately gets him expelled from the University.