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‘Your Place or Mine’ – the portrayal of hidden feelings in romcoms

Netflix's Your Place Or Mine
Netflix

Staff writer Mina Yasar reviews “Your Place or Mine”, Netflix’s new romantic comedy, and discusses the hidden feelings at play.  

“Your Place or Mine” is one of the movies that drew my attention these days. If you are a fan of romantic comedies or the lead actors Ashton Kutcher and Reese Witherspoon, spending two hours watching this movie is worth it.

The story has familiar romantic comedy tropes, but in a way that is not very common since it is not all about “perfect love”. After reading this sentence, you could wonder, “what makes this romantic comedy different from the others?” It is not easy to answer this question, however many components make this movie more attractive than other romantic comedies I’ve watched. 

This story reminded me of something: we are so worried about our feelings and thoughts that we often hide them from ourselves.

In most cases, romantic movies end happily, and most of us love this, since it could be an escape from the problems we face in daily life. “Your Place Or Mine” has a happy ending, but with a note written at the end: “And they lived happily ever after, just kidding; marriage is hard, but they had a good life.” I loved this note at the end of the movie. I don’t like the idea that any relationship between two people, like friendship, a romantic relationship, or marriage, should always create a constant feeling of happiness. “If it makes you sad sometimes, you should end it”; I don’t entirely agree with this idea. I don’t think that a relationship is linked with constant, intense happiness; this suggests that happy relationships don’t have any problems at all. 

Happiness can also be found in relationships where people face challenges together, and Debbie and Peter’s relationship is an example of this.

Some pop culture suggests that there are no ups and downs in the best relationships. This way, people can be led to believe that there is an ultimate, perfect relationship with zero problems, and spend their lifetime searching for it. In “Your Place Or Mine”, the ups and downs and difficulties, like being a single mother or working a job you don’t like, are shown.

For decades, some of us learned not to fall in love with our friends and not to be friends with the people we fell in love with, which created difficulties for many people. For different people, love and friendship  have different meanings, and it is unnecessary to have an unwritten rule in our minds about our feelings.

Debbie and Peter were living in Los Angeles and New York and were close friends for a long time, but their relationship didn’t start as friends; they had a short relationship in the past. In “Your Place Or Mine”, Debbie and Peter become a couple after many years of friendship. However, neither of them shared their feelings because they were so afraid that the other person won’t share the same feelings. They hide their feelings for each other, mirrored in the photographs Peter hides in an envelope under his bed. 

These two people were very close friends – they talked on the phone, had video calls every day, and made it clear that they never hid anything from each other. However, there was the main thing they had been hiding from each other for many years: they were in love, but they don’t mention it. They can’t confess this to each other because they thought that friends shouldn’t be in love with friends, and if that happened, they wouldn’t be friends anymore. 

However, they forget that people in a relationship with each other could still be best friends. This is not just a scenario for a movie since this can easily occur in people’s relationships outside fiction. The situation depends on the person, but I don’t see any harm in saying “I love you” to a person you care about so much and have a good time with. I don’t understand this concept so much: “Why do we have to not be friends with the person we love so much?” It could be very easy to have a relationship with someone you have known for a long time – you have memories, share everything, and they would be there for you. Additionally, in many relationships, most of the problems people face arise because of the lack of common interests, but having common things with your friend is possible. In this case, being friends with the one you have a relationship with could be easy for you.

I found this movie very realistic because, unlike some romantic comedies, Debbie and Peter had problems with jobs that they have to deal with. Debbie has a son, and the child’s issues in school are important part of the movie. Also, Debbie’s job problems were really interesting since she dreamed of being an editor while she was young but had to give up her dreams. Deep down, she didn’t fully forget this dream like she couldn’t entirely forget her love for Peter. The exciting thing is that, Debbie was not aware of any of these until the end, but the viewers, had a clue, about these. Peter is also having job problems; he was dreaming of being a writer, but gave up on them, and Debbie found out that he had written a book that he never had the courage to publish.

There are more people than we could imagine in our close circle who are unaware of their talents, like Peter, who need a little encouragement. They could be painters, writers, chefs, and many more people afraid to show their art to others. Sometimes, it is very typical to believe in ourselves; we need our loved ones to believe in us before ourselves. The movie has important messages about professional life and relationships that could benefit our daily lives. On the other hand, it could be a bit tedious for some people to watch it since, in the movie’s first minutes, you’ll see Debbie and Peter texting each other, calling or having video callas for each other. However, those component make “Your Place or Mine unique and similar to our daily lives. Because we are all waiting for some people to call or text us, and we are afraid to say our feelings like Debbie and Peter, we are scared to lose people because of what we say, feel, or believe. 

Staff Writer

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