Staff Writer Taha Khambaty rewrites the plot of the movie “No Hard Feelings”, delving into the topic of asexuality, and decides on an alternative ending.
WHAT THE FILM IS
In an era where rom-coms are increasingly put to streaming, “No Hard Feelings” (2023) further emphasises how the genre has not evolved much from the 90s.
The film stars Jennifer Lawrence as 32-year-old Maddie who, in a desperate attempt to save her house, accepts an offer from a wealthy couple to date their shy 19-year-old son in exchange for a new car. High jinks ensue as Maddie tries to make Percy open up and you basically have the plot from “10 Things I Hate About You” (1999) but with a 13-year age difference between the protagonists.
To its credit, “No Hard Feelings” manages to land most of its humour, keeping the audience entertained throughout its reasonable 100-minute runtime. Jennifer Lawrence delivers a solid performance as a slightly manic 32-year-old who clings to her past and the film invests ample time in developing her backstory, allowing her emotional moments to effectively pay off. On the other hand, while Andrew Barth Feldman does a great job playing the awkward and sheltered Percy, his character’s emotional arc does not connect as strongly. This is because the film only tells us his backstory through an emotional exposition dump which falls a bit flat.
While the film attempts to tie together the arcs of its main characters—Maddie running away from her past and Percy hesitating towards his future—it often ventures into uncomfortable territory. Despite the film’s attempt to establish them as just friends in the end, the premise of a 32-year-old trying to seduce a 19-year-old and convincing him to sleep with her always feels uneasy to watch.
Moreover, it would be disingenuous to ignore the ace-coded nature of Percy and the film’s outdated insistence that having sex is the only way for him to come out of his shell. With the increase of better asexual representation through characters such as Todd Chavez from “Bojack Horseman“ and (also) Todd from “Straight Up“, it is clear that these stories can be well told on screen. Therefore, the film feels like a missed opportunity to not actually subvert the ‘rom’ in the rom-com and create something new that feels like it can stand out in this crowded summer box office.
WHAT THE FILM COULD HAVE BEEN
But fear not! In light of Pride Month and the film’s apparent lack of effort, allow me to pitch an alternate version that explores asexual representation in a way that would actually make this a better film.
The film begins as before with Maddie’s character and motivation intact, except she has just turned 30—lowering her age a bit and her birthday emphasizing her feeling lost in life. Percy, now 20, has started college but is struggling to fit in and is back with his parents for the summer. Now the age gap is reduced to still feel significant but not uncomfortably so while keeping the central plot elements intact.
However, we introduce slight hints of Percy’s discomfort with physical intimacy that gradually intensify. Here you’d derive more comedy from the sex-obsessed nature of young adults and college life either through flashbacks or even from other students who are back home. While Percy’s lack of understanding of sexual desire can still be used for comedic effect, the punchline is more driven towards people obsessed with it. Through these scenes, we also connect with why Percy feels so out of place in a culture dominated by sex. With this background knowledge, we follow the inciting incident of his parents trying to secretly set him up and Maddie taking up their offer.
Then, there is the same sequence of events as in the actual film. Maddie tries to seduce Percy and he agrees but wants to take his time. We have a few dates where Maddie comes closer, plenty of jokes and wacky moments—standard rom-com stuff. However, instead of Percy being just awkward, he is more interested in Maddie as a person and they actually connect platonically. Percy assumes that this increasing emotional intimacy is what will help him open up but he gets increasingly frustrated when it does not work out.
After that, in a break from the original film, Percy takes a slightly different course of action. Instead of leaving the important dinner with Maddie and heading to a house party due to her rejection of a long-distance relationship, he decides to get as drunk as possible, hoping to force himself into experiencing the emotions he believes he should be feeling. Things go awry and he still finds himself at the house party (because I did like that sequence). Maddie again goes looking for him and we think he has finally slept with someone. Yet, when Maddie finds him, he is by himself refusing to speak and insisting on going back home instead. On their limo ride back, both characters open up with Percy almost confessing about being aromantic and asexual but their conversation is interrupted upon arrival.
The next morning, similar to the film, Percy discovers that Maddie was paid by his parents, which triggers his frustration and leads to his attempt to destroy the car and further isolate himself. A montage ensues where we see Percy on a bender, forcing himself into one-night stands with multiple people and exploring his sexuality. Meanwhile, we see Maddie, similar to the film, trying to save up to pay off her property taxes. At the end of the montage, we see a few ace flags on Percy’s computer as a subtle hint of what is to come. In the end, a heartfelt reunion scene unfolds as Maddie finds Percy just before he’s about to leave for college. A comedic moment ensues, followed by the final reveal—Percy is aromantic and asexual.
Instead of a lengthy explanation of the asexuality spectrum we witness a more organic moment where Percy opens up to Maddie and she acknowledges that she still values their platonic relationship. Maddie draws from her own experiences, having realized she was living a life dictated by expectations rather than following her own path.
Maddie asks Percy about his feelings and he says something to the effect of “I do not think like that about anyone and that is just not something I want. And I am still discovering myself here but I am comfortable being who I am”. This is followed by Maddie asking Percy if he is asexual and Percy confirming: “Yeah, somewhere on that spectrum”.
Both characters learn the importance of openly embracing who they are, regardless of their past or societal expectations. Percy comes out to his parents who readily accept him for who he is. The film ends with a poignant shot of Maddie driving Percy off to college as a symbol of their new-found bond and growth. Also, Percy’s final outfit has the aro-ace flag colours as a treat for the queer audiences in the room.
This plot not only gives a unique twist to the rom-com formula but actually uses Percy’s identity as an important driving force for the film. While Maddie’s arc is effectively the same, Percy’s emotional pathos comes more from him feeling like there is something wrong with him or that he just can not find the right person. Trying to tackle this, he takes increasingly larger steps towards changing himself and that creates tension in the film. This builds up to a climax where he finally accepts who he is. This solves the initial problem of his emotional arc feeling lacklustre and integrates his acceptance into the core of the premise.
And that’s it really. While this is not an actual script and I have the benefit of hindsight and not seeking to make a profit, the goal was to showcase how something as heteronormative as a rom-com can still be tweaked to be more inclusive and actually represent a huge swath of people that are completely ignored, or worse, actively demonised within the genre.
Happy (Belated) Pride Month!
