Welcome to Reggie Responds, Roar’s advice column! Our columnists are here to provide you with helpful, or maybe not so helpful, advice. Tune in to see what they have to say about your problems.
Q: How do I make closer friends at uni? I’ve tried some societies but it feels like everyone already has their friend groups and I end up just knowing the people I meet there rather than being good friends with any of them.
Jess: First things first, you definitely aren’t alone with this one – making good friends at uni can be hard to begin with. It’s almost as bad as dating: “Do they like me? Do they think I’m funny? Am I coming on too strong?” It can be a situation ripe for imposter syndrome. You’ve got to remember though, everyone’s in the same boat. On the surface it might seem that everyone is getting along swimmingly but I can guarantee that they’re probably feeling a similar way. I think the most important thing, and I know this is much easier said than done, is to put yourself out there. No one likes doing this, and it’s a terrifying prospect, but it sounds like you’re halfway there – joining societies is a great step in making friends. If you’re feeling like you need to solidify these friendships, ask people to do something outside of these society meetings, whether its a uni event, a new exhibition, or even just a coffee. It’ll give you the chance to get to know someone, or a small group of people, in a more personal environment. The worst that will happen is they say they’re busy, or you don’t click, in which case you’ll know that you’re better off as people who nod hello in the library and leave it at that. Much more likely, you’ll end up with some great mates and a confidence boost.
Q: I feel like I’m getting too caught up in uni work (there’s so much of it) and don’t have time to hang out with my friends. They mean well but do hang out a lot without me and I’m having some FOMO and I don’t know what to do about all this…