Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Culture

Maughan Hub: The Best Places to Cry in the Love Island Villa

Maughan Hub: Thanks to KCL, Four More Strains of Covid-19 Exist

Maughan Hub is a series of articles written by KCL’s Comedy Society members, published on Wednesdays. We hope they entertain you wherever you are!

Welcome to the Villa, Islanders! What’s in store for this season of Love Island? We have all the usuals: Instagram models, “entrepreneurs”, a bunch of contestants who are all somehow from Essex, the one girl everyone slags off for no reason who will spend the rest of her life paying for this experience in therapy instalments…but most importantly, this season of Love Island will have the MOST TEARS EVER. So let’s get ready to count down the top 5 places to cry in the Love Island Villa.

  1. The Fire Pit Where Re-coupling Occurs

This is heartbreak central. Be prepared to shed some tears on national television after reciting a heartfelt speech about someone you only met two hours ago but somehow snogged three hours ago. This crying location is a classic, but too ordinary to make it higher in the list.

  1. The Pool 

Did Chris just speak with another girl or do you just have semen in your eye? Who knows! Either way, the pool is a great place to cry in the Villa – you can hide your sulking underwater. At least the pool can actually make you wet, unlike Chris :///

  1. The Hideaway

Oh, you thought you were finally going to get some privacy after weeks being constantly recorded while surrounded by the dumbest and hottest people you’ll ever meet in your life? Try again. You’ll still have to smash under the covers in this hideaway, so your sex will be so vanilla it will make you sob. The hideaway gets extra crying points, though, because you get some rose petals and wine to accompany your tears.

  1. The Girls’ Dressing Room

Are you a literal model who suddenly feels insecure because the most mediocre hairdresser in Manchester didn’t recouple with you? Consider crying in the girls’ dressing room as you change into your twenty-ninth bikini of the day! Don’t worry – all of the other stunning women will comfort you and tell you that you’ll definitely find the love of your life (if they don’t steal him from you first).

  1. On Your Own In Your Designated Couple Bed.

A+. Incredible. Stunning. Unmatched. The other islanders will shush you as you cry because you broke up with your true love, which in retrospect is weird because it’s not like they have to get up early to go to work? Honestly, I’m not even sure why you’re crying. Those beds look like actual clouds, and you have it all to yourself. No more awkward cuddling with someone who you only picked because they “have good banter” (read: they can interact on a primary school level). Crying or not, sleeping alone in the Villa is pure bliss. 

Joyce Hida is a final year exchange student studying History and English Literature. She is the Editor of Maughan Hub. Joyce is also a published poet - check out her work in TYPO Magazine and Empty House Press.

Latest

Events

Science Editor Jana Bazeed presents KCL Robotics, a nominee at the King’s College Students’ Union (KCLSU) Awards 2024. With the awards set for 28...

Comment

Staff writer Samira Siakantari, an exchange student at UCLA, recounts her experience of the police crackdown on the UCLA Pro-Palestinian encampment, arguing student protestors...

Interior of a Westminster pub. Interior of a Westminster pub.

Culture

Staff Writer Leah Napier-Raikes explains the success of ‘Baby Reindeer’, a gripping narrative about stalking and abuse. Since its debut on April 11th, ‘Baby...

a female a cappella group on stage a female a cappella group on stage

Culture

Editor-in-Chief Nia Simeonova presents The Rolling Tones, a nominee at the King’s College London Students’ Union (KCLSU) Awards 2024. With the awards set for...

Events

Editor-in-Chief Nia Simeonova presents Women in Business, a nominee at the King’s College London Students’ Union (KCLSU) Awards 2024. With the awards set for...

Comment

Staff writer Ruth Otim reminds us of the conflict in Sudan, and the importance of the media in paying attention to international conflicts. I...

News

KCL has dropped its commitment to achieving net zero carbon emissions by 2025, pushing the goal back to 2030 amid revelations that emissions have...

Culture

Staff writer Connor Williams reviews the delightfully dark show “Ruination” and then interviews its director, Ben Duke.  Planning a trip to the Underworld this...

Culture

“The King’s Jester” is a satire column that Roar runs in collaboration with the KCL Comedy Club. If you’re interested in writing an article...