Be ready in five

What really goes on in a woman’s head as she gets ready? It is more complicated than you think.

 

A woman spends one year of her life deciding what to wear. This is unsurprising since it is the toughest, most time-consuming and mind-boggling of daily choices. Deciding your day’s outfit involves a strategic decision process. After all, what you wear is effectively a self-portrait, allowing you to present a certain persona to the world. Fashion is instant non-verbal communication, and we all want to be heard loud and clear. Below, I’ve documented what the female psyche goes through when getting ready in five minutes…

Firstly, the occasion is the most important aspect. Depending on whether you are attending a high-end cocktail party, a formal interview, going on a date or having a chilled day with your friends, be it the evening or daytime, you need to distinguish the type of look you are aiming for: cute, classy, sexy or casual. Clothing is never frivolity; it always has meaning and makes a statement. A floral print maxi will not work for evening, and neither will a little black dress for day. Your ‘look’ and time of day will therefore enable you to pick a category of clothes. Is it going to be a leggings type of day, or will it be a dress versus jeans and blouse battle? The people who will see your outfit at said event will also help dictate the level of appropriateness that your clothes require (we all have family regulations of what is considered to be unacceptable!). Moreover, your current mood and the trusty British weather are key external contributing factors that must be taken into consideration!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next is the wardrobe selection process. As you swim through your wardrobe in hope of ending up in Narnia, you come to realise that many of your clothes actually looked much better on the mannequin. You come across items that no longer fit you, as well as discovering new clothes that still have the tags on them. Note to self: a major clear out is pending, and some shopping of course. You soon recognise a gorgeous outfit, but keep putting it off for a better occasion, yet it ends up going out of fashion by the end of the season anyway. While fumbling through the endless piles of fabric, you notice an outfit that is close to your heart; perhaps you wore it somewhere memorable, or it was given to you by someone special. You no longer wear it but you keep it for sentimental value. Bam! That is it. You trail off and take a trip down memory lane…

After that it is the ‘girlfriend check’. When going out, what you are going to wear turns into a major sartorial conference between friends. You cannot wear the same thing as each other, but neither can you be too contrasting in terms of style. ‘Snapchatting’ potential outfits is always a safe option. Then, there is the issue of repeating outfits – the most common female fear. Have you worn this outfit before with this selection of people? Have you uploaded any pictures on Facebook or Instagram in this combination of clothes? Now that would be committing social suicide in girl world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next, are the beauty checks…

1. Feeling bloated? An outfit that flatters your figure is required.

2. Bad hair day?  Restyle your entire look with the straighteners.

3. Spot outbreak? Extra foundation.

4. Hairy legs? Back in the shower!

5. Chipped nail varnish? Repaint them twice (likely to smudge them first time round).

Finally, it is time to accessorise. Untangle every single necklace you own. Selecting complementary jewellery and bag is crucial, since it can ‘dazzle up’ a plain outfit, as well as tone down an over-the-top one. After dancing enthusiastically around your room and posing in the mirror, choose what shoes to wear and consider a backup pair to take in your bag for the way home! The true evidence of an elegant woman is what is on her feet; shoes transform your whole attitude and boost you both physically and emotionally.

“Yeah, I just grabbed the first thing I found in my wardrobe and chucked it on.”
Beauty is pain.

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