Maughan Hub is a series of articles written by KCL’s Comedy Society members, published on Wednesdays. We hope they entertain you wherever you are!
Oscar Hicks, a second year English Literature student, made a deeply terrible mistake. He worked through endless poems and plays, he crafted countless critical essays — and then he gave it all up. He uttered the words ‘epic gamer moment’ in class, and so began his fall from grace. Now, his university has made the swift and unanimous decision to permanently suspend him.
When asked for comment, the department stood resolutely by their decision. “Of course we pushed for his expulsion,” the faculty head exclaimed. “There are 171,476 words in the English language. There are so many ways he could arrange them. Of every sentence he could have crafted, he chose a meme for 12-year-olds that crashed before it even took off.”
“It’s a brutal attack on the English language,” added another professor. “Frankly, I nearly called a terrorist hotline.”
We found Hicks taking a final, pensive stroll through the library. When asked for comment, he sighed dramatically. “Listen. I don’t know what you heard, but it was an accident. I literally just forgot the word for ‘amazing’. It was the single worst moment of my entire life.”
Oscar plans to transfer to an American university, where the the culture and literacy is far more forgiving — even welcoming — to such colloquialisms. When asked for comment, several of his prospective schools stated that they would be lucky to have someone who could make archaic literature so accessible. “After all,” said one department, “was Shakespeare himself not a mere few hundred years away from coining ‘epic gamer moment’?”
An American contact of Maughan Hub agreed wholeheartedly with these statements: “No, no, it’s true. One seminar, I said that Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice had a bruh moment, and the whole seminar genuinely applauded.”
Several US institutions have already nominated Hicks for the Nobel Prize in Literature. More on this as it develops.