Reggie Responds #13

Welcome to Reggie Responds, Roar’s advice column! Our columnists are here to provide you helpful, or maybe not so helpful, advice. Tune in on Fridays to see what they have to say about your problems.

Q: Do you think that the world will ever go back to normal once Covid-19 is (hopefully) gone?

Matthew: The phrase “a new normal” has been shoved down our throats constantly, as we are reminded that Covid-19 is something we will all have to learn to live with for a very long time. And whilst that is a little frustrating, it couldn’t be more true.

What was ‘normal’ ten years ago is absolutely not normal now, and the same goes for decades before today. We live in an era of technological advancements and societal progression as it is, and that means there is no such thing as a fixed normal on the best of days, let alone during a pandemic.

This period of setbacks, false promises and isolation won’t stick around, though (I hope). I really believe we will take away the best parts of this year, remembering the power technology can have to make remote education and work flow more smoothly, and we will all learn to appreciate our social and emotional connection that little bit more. It may not happen instantly, but the parts of our ‘old normal’ that we love and miss will return, and they’re bound to feel ten times better.

Q: Is it advisable to still be friends with your ex?

Nikita: I think that largely depends on the relationship you and your ex shared, and most importantly, the reason behind your breakup. In the case of a mutual breakup, I see no reason for the two of you to not remain friends — of course, only if the two of you have been mature enough to come to terms with any residual feelings you may have for the other.

If the reason for your breakup was because one of you simply outgrew your feelings (or the relationship in general), I would say give it some time. In scenarios like this, the onus for deciding if you remain friends or not lies largely with the dumpee rather than the dumper.

And if for some reason you’re contemplating this question despite the fact that your past relationship was a bubbling cesspool of toxicity, don’t even think about it. You ended that relationship for a reason, and giving your ex a chance to weasel back into your life is only going to cause you unwanted grief. Out of sight, out of mind.

Ultimately, it depends on you and your ex, and your collective ability to be mature while dealing with the fallout of your relationship. I’d say, even if you do decide to remain friends, make sure to make yourself your top priority and if, for any reason at all, you feel like it’s not working out, don’t be afraid to take a step back and reevaluate!

If you want to submit a question, you can do so here.