Shambolic sports nights at Guy’s Bar

By the disgruntled Sportsman – I’ve been going to Guy’s bar for, well let’s say a good few years, and I have never known it to be in such a parlous state.  People are arriving at 6 PM just to be guaranteed entry, and many members of sports clubs are missing out on their own Sports Night (the clue is in the title…). Instead of making point after point about how bad it is, here are three of the most fundamental questions that have remained unanswered since time immemorial:

1. Why is the capacity so small, and, having known of this problem for at least a year, why is nothing being done about it?

Naturally, the best thing to do would be to reopen Inverse, as has been suggested for YEARS.  However, why would the Union and the College do something simple to improve the student life of many of its members when they could build a Museum looking at the interface between Art and Medicine!  (Guaranteed to look nice in the prospectus interest undergrads and improve the quality of their student lives…)

2. Why are the drinks so expensive?

It’s London, everything is expensive, right?  Right?! Erm… not so fast, the Dover Castle, that well-frequented pub on Great Dover Street manages to sell beer cheaper, stays open later, and has a Boris Bike stand outside.  It might help to know how much money the Union makes on each pint it sells, but of course why would the Union tell us, the paying customers and members, any of that? (SPOILER ALERT: they make more than 50%, guaranteed)  It also might be worth noting that most of the money Guy’s Bar and the Waterfront makes on a Wednesday night goes on keeping Tutu’s open for nobody to go to and keeping Guy’s and the Waterfront open all week for barely anybody to go to because the drinks are so expensive.  And because it takes literally three hours to get any food.

3. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do they STILL EMPLOY THE WORLD’S MOST OBNOXIOUS BOUNCERS?

a. Seriously, anyone who has ever been to Guy’s has commented on how rude and horrible they are at all times.  Again, this has been going on for years and nothing gets done about it!  And they wonder why people can’t be bothered to vote in the elections…

Guy’s Bar is a joke now – huge queues snaking outside when it’s a ghost town inside, expensive booze (ULU manage £1 pints, The Rocket manages £1 pints, etc., etc.), horrible bouncers – isn’t this the opposite of what a student Union should be doing?

And don’t even get me started on the ‘Fresh Air Slips’ – seriously, the Union takes a stand against ‘being drunk’ but the only way you are allowed outside is to say you’re having a cigarette?!